53 + 1 = ?

["BX9024" <nil@nil.com>]

You have to admire Volkswagen: while the French motor industry and national
rival BMW are still feebly denying they are already controlled by the Lizard
Alliance - despite chilling evidence to the contrary - the Wolfsburg
tentacle of the German manufacturer has decided to cut literally to the
chase and scrap even the merest pretence that you are in control of your
shiny new automobile.
Active neoLuddite Resistance Army (NRA) members already know the terrifying
dangers of simply looking sideways at a modern car without first charging up
your plasma pulse assault rifle - 125mph white-knuckle terror ordeals,
breakdancing killer Citroens and self-destructing satanic BMWs.


Of course, the brilliance of the plan is that you believe you are driving
the car, when it is in fact simply allowing you to indulge yourself while it
waits for an opportune moment to lock the victim out of the vehicle's
computerised control systems, hit the gas, and launch a merciless attack on
Europe's motorway system.

Now, however, Volkswagen is offering those resigned to the seemingly
inevitable outcome of The Rise of the Machines? - the complete subjugation
of humanity and its hideous enslavement to the CyberDyson Corporation - the
chance to get it over with as quickly and painlessly as possible: the
self-driving VW Golf GTi.

According to The Daily Mail, the souped-up Golf deploys "electronic 'eyes'
that use radar and laser sensors in the grille to 'read' the road and send
the details back to its computer brain", while a sat-nav system "tracks its
exact position with pin-point precision to within an inch".

It gets worse: "On a race circuit, it drove itself faster and more precisely
than the VW engineers could manage - and can accelerate independently up to
its top speed of 150mph," the Mail notes with admiration*.

A Lizard Army spokesreptile declared via a Volkswagen subordinate: "It
really is a self-driving Golf. It steers, brakes and accelerates. And it
races through handling courses independently. It can accomplish this at full
performance and at the limits of its capabilities."

Enough. Suffice it to add that Volkwagen has dubbed its mephistophelean
suicide vehicle "53 + 1" in honour of the number carried by veteran Love Bug
"Herbie". As the Book of Revelation states: "Here is wisdom. Let him that
hath understanding count the number of the beast: for it is the number of a
reptilian Teutonic automobile; and its number is twoscore and ten and three.
Plus one."


JKGAME 會員優先試玩《富貴達人》！ 

香港代理 Gamania 公司免費送出全港第一隻線上大富翁遊戲《富貴達人》試玩帳號給予 JK GAME 會員
詳情請到 : http://jkgame.com/jkbb/
 

《 JK News Reader 》
  可到 : http://reader.newsgroup.cc